12x12: 12 Things To Accomplish in 2012 (Revised on 04-05-12)

Happy New Year, everyone! And welcome to my first 2012 post!

I've been making New Year Resolutions for as long as I can remember. I typically make a list of about 10 or so vague statements that pretty much say the same thing over and over again. "I want to be nicer to people." "I want to eat healthier." "Blahblahblah-I-want-to-make-myself-feel-like-a-better-person." But I never accomplish anything on my list. I try. For like a week. And then I get bored. Why? Because I never give myself any concrete goals. So, this year, for a little bit of a change, I decided to do something a little different. I came up with 12 goals. Some easily achievable, some not. But I plan on keeping track of what I accomplish; mostly so that I can hold myself accountable.

Alright, check it out (in no particular order):

1 make a stop motion movie.
Stop motion animation is absolutely amazing. It takes an immense amount of patience and skill. After watching Coraline, and coming to terms with the fact that I will never be able make something so intricate, I decided that I would eventually like to try my hand at stop motion animation. With Rich here to help me, I'll definitely do it this year!

2 stretch my ears to 2g.
My ears are currently at an 8g. I actually just stretched today. At this rate I should be at a 2g by the beginning of June-ish. But I have the cutest plugs for when I'm at a 4g. So, since I might want to keep those in for a little bit, it might push back stretching up to a 2g for a while. We'll see!

3 figure out and stick to a blog post schedule.
Being in school really cuts into my blog time. But I kind of blame myself because I make time for other things and not for my writing, even though my writing is super important to me. So, in order to make myself a little happier, I want to stick to a regular blog schedule.

4 take more pictures.
No, this is not my inner-hipster coming out. But I've always wanted to take millions of pictures to save really good memories. Rich and I barely have any pictures together and it makes me really, really sad. But neither one of us ever stops to think about taking pictures. I want to cut that out and do my best to capture the moments that truly matter.

5 talk to people (especially Rich) more.
I'm very good at keeping to myself and not opening up to everyone. Rich gets worried when he notices that I'm upset, but I refuse to talk about it. I think it's time for me to stop that. People honestly care about me and my well being. I don't want to shut the important individuals out anymore.

6 watch 10 Johnny Depp movies.
I've really been lagging on my "Mad About Depp" posts. This goal might be all I need to step it up and get to reviewing that wonderful man's filmography.

7 dye my hair really really red
Dyeing my hair dark red was a big step for me. Rich had to practically drag me to the store and force me to buy the dye. But after it was done, I didn't regret it at all. I do, however, want to dye my hair again. And this time, I want it to be bright red. I've already gotten over my fear. Now I'm going all the way!

8 try hummus (among other odd foods).
This one was kind of Rich's idea. I asked him what hummus was and he told me that it's mashed chick peas, or something like that. Being that I'm trying to be a foodie, I should definitely be eating more interesting foods. So, I figured that there is no time like the present to try some things that I've never heard of.

9 go to Philly (with Rich).
This is another one courtesy of Rich. He really wants to go see Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I've been saying no (mostly on principle) for a few months now. But I'm finally getting used to being on my own and going places on my own. And I kind of want to go out of state for a nice day of adventure seeking with my love.

10 go see the tree in Rockefeller center.
Not to watch it be lit. That would be way too crowded. And I have class on Wednesdays. But I want to take a Saturday next December to go see all the magical decorations in NYC.

11 save $600.
After working for an entire semester, I realize how difficult it is to save money. Of the $1,000 I made, I only saved about $300. Keep in mind, I bought necessary items (and Christmas presents) with most of my money. But still. It's a little ridiculous for me to spend like $400. So, I want to take next year to save way more than I spend and budget my money like a BOSS.

12 volunteer.
Last, but certainly not least, I want to give back. I told myself that I would volunteer last semester, but that did not happen. I always found some excuse to do something else. I refuse to do that this year. Even if I volunteer like one hour a week, it's better than nothing at all.

And that's my list! I don't want to come across as an optimist, but I honestly think that I can do this. Plus, I'll have help and support from people I care about. I can't wait to spend another year on Wordpress documenting anything and everything I can!

I hope everyone's NYE was amazing!

Happy 2012!

Christmas with Karina

So... Christmas was a few days ago. Typically, I'm the epitome of Christmas spirit. I love the lights, the trees, the songs, the gift-giving. I love it all. But I also love spending time with my mother. This year, however, I spent Christmas with my sister, her girlfriend, my niece, and my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong. I love them all. Spending the holidays with my boyfriend is what I live for at this point. He makes me feel at home even though I don't really have one. And my sister let's me stay at her house during the breaks and whatnot. But I still wish I could have been with my mother.

What may have hit me the hardest is not opening presents. Hear me out; I'm not being a brat. Ever since I was younger, I've always gotten many presents to open on Christmas. It's what used to put me in the spirit. It's what used to bring my family together. Judge me, if you want. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. But I came to the realization that, with my mother being in Florida, I wouldn't have too many presents. But I figured that my sister would at least make up for it by buying me a few presents. I guess I just didn't take into consideration that she would want to spoil her own child.

Anyway, let me run through what my Christmas Day was like.

This is what the tree-area looked like before anything was opened.


Every single present under that tree (minus a few for some other people) was for my 3-month-old niece. A little ridiculous, right? She's an infant. Not only can she not open any of those gifts, but she also won't even remember getting any of them. Do any of you remember your first Christmas? Anyone? I didn't think so. Don't think that I'm blaming her. She's one of the most adorable babies I've ever seen. And she didn't have anything to do with the massive amounts of presents. Honestly, all of those gifts are so that my sister can feel like a good mother. You would think that she'd try to avoid doing that considering my mother did it and it didn't help us at all. It just made us expect to get crazy amounts of presents all the time. Materialistic, much? Oh, yeah. I'm so glad that I'm starting to grow out of it.

What I did get to open was absolutely perfect though.

My boyfriend's present (The Complete Works of Shakespeare)!


His other present isn't here yet. He's trying to find me a sock monkey because I've wanted one for so long and I never got one. But his order got cancelled because it was out of stock or something. So now I just can't wait to get it!

He finally opened his present from me and loved it. I bought him a leather bound journal. I've been fascinated with them ever since I watched Cruel Intentions as a kid. (For anyone who has seen this movie, kudos. And you know how inappropriate this movie is for children. But that's a different issue for a different day.) But my boyfriend, who I realize has a name, by the way. But Rich (yeah, I'm pretty sure that's one of the only times I've used his name), really wants to write. So, I figured the best way to help him with that would be to get him the coolest writing place ever!

He couldn't wait to start writing.


Meanwhile, Kaydence was not having fun while her mother open her presents for her. I did, however, get a few great shots of her. She's so precious.






And this is what the end result for her was. (Definitely more than a little ridiculous.)


Oh, and I forgot to mention how my older brothers came to see us bring Kaydence presents for Christmas. I'm not a big fan of my brothers. They only care about this little girl. They don't even care about my sister. It's rude and very hypocritical. And everyone wonders why I stay away from my family? Because my brothers are weirdly selfish, and my sister is a brat with a baby. I don't want to be around that. As far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend and my mother are my family. Everyone else can go live their own lives without me.

So, Christmas was alright, I guess. It could have been worse. I had a few good laughs. I drank a few good drinks. And I got a few good gifts. I just hope that I'm more in the spirit for next year. I'll start planning early.

Vacation...It's All I Ever Wanted

Well, I'm writing a pretty impromptu post. I'm sitting on the floor of my good friend Gabby's room. Today is literally the last day of the semester. Now that I've taken all of my final exams, I am officially free for the entire month. And do you know what I'm gonna do? A whole lot of nothing! Actually, that's a lie. I plan on doing some stuff for myself (and the boyfriend).

But before I get into all of that, I want to talk about Gabby a little bit. I'd like to start with the fact that I love her very much. She may get on my nerves from time to time, but that's more my fault. I mean, I am pretty difficult and moody. But that's besides the point. She's there for me and I'm there for her. I guess it's easy because she reminds me of my lovely boyfriend. She's extremely opinionated, vulgar, and ruthless. Now, these may seem like bad qualities, but they're the kind of qualities I need to surround myself with. She is one of the very few people I don't absolutely despise in this building. I just don't know how I'm going to survive a whole month without her. Boo!

Plus, she got me totally awesome trouffles for Christmas. How did she know?



Anyway, about my to-be awesome break!

Well, first I get to have a (hopefully) decent Christmas with my family. I'm spending it with my sister, her girlfriend, and my gorgeous niece. My sister is cooking a big meal and I'm baking cakes or pies or something. Plus, my boyfriend is going to be with me on Christmas. This may not seem absolutely amazing, but it really is. He isn't really big on Christmas, so I try really hard to keep him from being all Scrooge-y.

And this is my not-so surprise gift from my boyfriend/his mom. (aka The Complete Works of Shakespeare!)



After Christmas, I'm spending a week with my boyfriend at his house. We have a coffee date planned and we want to see the ball drop in NYC. I'll take pictures, I promise. Plus, there are so many movies that we NEED to download and watch. Mostly movies that I want to watch, but I think I deserve it. And we're reading The Art of Fiction by Ayn Rand. Spending some quality time with him without the stress of classes will be so amazing. I haven't relaxed in weeks. I'm way overdue.

In January, I'm spending like 2 weeks with my mom in Florida. I miss her so much. And I'm pretty sure she misses me. She hasn't been feeling well, so having me there will definitely brighten her mood up a little bit. I'm pretty sure she's taking me to Disney World for a day or two. If we do go, I'm planning on getting gifts for Gabby and my boyfriend! But if not, I still get to shopping at the outlets, which means awesome deals!

While I'm doing all of this, I'm also going to be reading a few books. I promised myself that I'd re-read The Picture Of Dorian Gray and Ethan Frome. They're two of my favorite books of all time. I also need to read a book for my school's book club. I love having the time to dedicate to personal projects. It's definitely not something I get being a workaholic college student.

What is everyone else doing for Christmas? Any big plans?

Upgrade Me, Please

Above: The repugnant Palm Pixi


Above: The amazing Evo Shift

So, this past weekend I accomplished something absolutely great. Are you ready? I got... a new phone. Now, some of you may not understand the enormity of this feat. But I've had the same messed up, half-dead phone for a year a half. For two-thirds of that time, my phone didn't even ring! All it did was vibrate, and even that was weak. So, I upgraded (literally) to a Sprint Evo Shift. And I'm really loving this device.

Well, I should probably start with what I upgraded from. I had a Palm Pixi. It was great when I first got it. It's super simple to work with, small, and absolutely adorable. However, after a while, the glitches started getting to me. The sound was the first thing to go. Every time I would set the phone to "Loud" it would start having an electronic panic attack. And if I let it sit, then it would just go back to vibrate. Eventually, I just stopped trying and let the phone stay on vibrate indefinitely. Then, the keys stopped fighting for their life. Half of the key pad (from T-G-V left) went permanently black. And this was only after about 6-8 months of having the phone. I still had ways to go. Every so often the battery would freak out on me. The Pixi would over heat or not charge. It would die unexpectedly. It would restart by itself. Needless to say, I was extremely annoyed. And then about a month or two ago, the battery started dying faster than usual. I couldn't have a conversation for more than an hour and half with the phone dropping to 15% battery life (from 100%). What I find completely odd, but can't really complain about, is that the batter started charging super-super fast. It would only take about 35 minute to go from dead to 100%. It was pretty bad. I fully believed that my phone was possessed.

So, when my mom told me that she would get me a new phone for Christmas, I was ecstatic. AND I knew exactly what phone I wanted. I walked into the Sprint store on Saturday afternoon and asked for an Evo Shift. After the sales guy tried his best to convince me to get an iPhone or an Epic, he finally sat down and got to work. I was in and out in 20 minutes with my new phone and a pretty pink case for it. Plus, I didn't even pay the retail price ($400). Apparently, I was due for an upgrade in July, so the price dropped to $150. What a deal, I know.

Learning how to navigate/play with an Android phone was so much fun. My boyfriend showed me all these cool apps and widgets that I can use. I'm having way too much fun just searching for things to do on this amazing device. The only problem I have is that I'm still accustomed to using a really simple operating system. I don't like having options/setting for everything. Sometimes, I just like for someone else to make the big decisions. But I know that I shouldn't really be complaining about something so useful.

So, my early Christmas present was an absolute success. How is everyone else feeling about this upcoming holiday? Any good early gifts?

Some Lessons Can't Be Taught

Well, as I'm stretching out my brain cells preparing for my finals, I realized that I learned a lot about myself and college life over the past few months. It's not easy, but it is an experience worth having. Now, I'm not saying that I'm an authority on how to survive the stresses of college. Please, I've had my fair share of break downs during this semester. But, ultimately, I came out on top. And that says something, right? So, take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. But here's my list of lessons/tips for having a decent college experience:

1.) Patience is a virtue.

I know, this is completely out of character for me. I am the poster child for frustration. I get very angry, very quickly. But yelling doesn't always help the situation. I learned, early in the semester, that all it does is make other people more likely to be fucking annoying. So, the next time your neighbors are being obnoxious or the next time there are drunk people stumbling around in the hallway, take a breath. Relax. Wait it out for a few minutes. And, if the noise persists, ask the annoying jerks to keep it down. If all else fails, that's what resident assistants are for.

2.) You don't know them; they don't know you.

This is actually one of the first things I learned. Sometimes, we like to cling to people. We like to find people who we think care about us and we give them the qualities of people who really do care about us. I see it all the time here with girls who have been friends for 2 weeks and they walk around saying how much they love their "best friend." I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who realizes that they know absolutely nothing about each other. But that's beside the point. I wouldn't recommend making choices based off the people who live in your building/on your floor. They don't know you and they don't care about you. College is a time for you to learn about yourself. You can't do that if you're too busy being what other people want you to be. That's what high school is for. Leave it in the past.

3.) Failing isn't cute.

One of my favorite lines that I hear from guys and girls alike is: "Yo, my mom's gonna kill me for failing [insert name of class here]." All I want to does slap them around and tell them that there are much more productive ways to spend $25,000. They come here to screw around and get drunk half the week. That's not cute and it's not smart. It's a waste of time and money and space. Oh, and I forgot to mention that it's a complete waste of oxygen (someone much smarter could definitely manifest in their place). Just go to class, do the work, and the best grades possible. Or, in other words, be a responsible adult. It's much more attractive than being a dumb kid.

4.) All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Don't think I'm an advocate for locking yourself in the library and doing nothing but reading/studying. I can't even do that, and I'm the epitome of workaholic. Sometimes, a little downtime is all you need to avoid burning out. Me? Well, I go through Pinterest, I write, I read, and I hang out with the boyfriend. It's enough to keep me sane. It takes a little bit of time, but finding a balance makes doing all the work seem...not-so-bad.

5.) Don't leave your paper for the last minute.

When it comes to academics, this is super important. I've seen people get bad grades on papers because they were too immature to write the paper earlier. They didn't want to give themselves enough time to write the best paper possible. However, they definitely found the time to complain about the length of the paper. It's ridiculous. I mean, I'm not unreasonable. If you have a bunch of other work, that's fine. Sometimes, other work is more important. But don't get upset if your grade actually reflects the lack of work you put into it.

It may seem like I'm being overly dramatic and whiny, but after going to school with overly dramatic, whiny, spoiled people, you pick up a few of their bad habits. I'm trying to make the best of experience here. And I've found that following these guidelines really help me. I hope they can help a few other people, too.

Mad about Depp: Finding Neverland

*Note: These posts are based on my opinion after watching Johnny Depp movies. The may contain spoilers and will be highly subjective. You have been warned.*

I haven't written one of these in such a long time. So, I figure that it is completely appropriate to share another Mad About Depp post!

Today, I'll be talking about the amazing film Finding Neverland. This movie was released in 2004. It's about the life of JM Barrie (played by Depp), the man who wrote Peter Pan. Barrie meets a family that is grieving at the loss of their beloved father/husband. The story unfolds into a beautiful tale about, life, love, and a little pixie dust.

I guess it would be a little biased of me to say that the movie is extremely touching, right? Well, it is. I mean, come on, Depp plays a man who is, essentially, a kid at heart. It is completely endearing. He also becomes a father figure for a group of boys who are dying for the male affection. Additionally, Depp's character overcomes a few hardships of his own; so, the audience gets to see his character evolve into one that is respectable and lovable.

My favorite scene:

At the very end of the movie, Barrie (Depp) holds a performance of his play in the Davies' household because Sylvia is sick and cannot make the performance. The play comes to life with the "imagination" of the people in the room. Suddenly, the audience is trusted into the world that Barrie created. Any description I give won't do the scene justice, but know that it is quite magical.

To conclude, I will add that this isn't my favorite Depp movie. Not by a long shot. But it is wonderful to watch. I've seen it around three times and it gets better every time.

Feel Down; Look Up

I want nothing more than to be happy. Actually, when I was fourteen, I was asked to define success. I replied, and defended against questioners: Success is personal. The only way to measure it is to see how happy a person is with his/her given situation. A person doesn't need to have a six-figure salary to be successful. All he needs is joy in his life. Before you write it off as me being a naive fourteen-year old kid, which I was, just know that I still firmly believe that. I've wanted nothing more than happiness for a long time. However, I'm starting to think the universe is single-handedly trying to make sure that it never happens for me.

College is hard. It's stressful. (I know. Duh, right?) Well, when you've been doing the college thing for 3 years prior to your first semester, you start to imagine that college won't be quite so hard. And then life throws you a curve ball. Fuck curve balls. At least I thought I would have a wicked support system. The boyfriend and I were doing really well when the semester started. Plus, a few people from my high school come here. If it had to be difficult, at least I would have a good time chilling out with people who cared about me. And then... the shit hit the fan. The boyfriend and I started fighting daily. Literally. There were like two weeks when we fought every single day. I became a hermit, like I always do, because I just needed to get an A in everything. (Different issue for a different day.) So, naturally, I just started to get really lonely and started clinging to the boyfriend even more. Unfortunately, that tactic wasn't exactly the best (duh) and we broke up for about a week. (It's probably more accurate to say that he broke up with me. That is how it happened.) Anyway, for the rest of the semester I've just been feeling so down.

Even though the boyfriend and I are working on things, nothing ever seems to get better. He doesn't seem to care about me. I feel like he still doesn't care about me. Every effort I make is just seems to be disregarded. We both feel like utter crap. Plus, no one here seems to get me. I haven't found that one person who just listens to what I'm saying and gets it. But that's not really a problem that only college kids suffer through. I would think that most people feel like this sometimes. I just wish someone would tell me that it gets easier. When you're staring up from rock bottom, it feels like there's no way you'll ever get back to where you once were.

Maybe a break isn't the best thing right now...

Have you ever just needed an outlet? A way for other people to know what you're going through? That's how I feel right now. Writing in my journal is okay. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it. But there's just something about being on Wordpress that gives a satisfaction that nothing else can. I don't enjoy any other blogging websites...they just seem so pointless. I need a place to write. I need a place to express myself. So, maybe a break isn't what I need. Instead, I need to make time for my posts. I need to write. I need to share. I need to be exposed. And, most importantly, I need to feel as if I'm not the only one struggling through this feelings of utter sadness. I can't possibly be alone, no matter how much I think I am.